You know how some people only pray to God when they need something? Well. I don't necessarily believe in a Jesus, but sometimes something happens that makes me want to say 'thank you' to him anyway, just in case.
I kinda got razzed this weekend by my friends who sometimes misunderstand my behavior in my workplace as some kind of fear, or inability to stand up for myself, which confuses them because of how I am in my personal life (ie, not like that). But I've found over and over again, especially since I came to Korea, that even when it looks as though you're not going to come out on top by keeping your cool and sucking shit up, sometimes you do.
Basically, when HT dropped that summer camp bomb on me on Friday, I took a minute to "finish saving my files", aka count to ten in my head and breathe, before responding. And when I responded, this is what I said (in the most neutral tone I could muster): I completely understand the situation, although I'm a little bit disappointed about it. Because the students are usually really uncomfortable in afternoon classes in the summer. Because it's hot, and because they prefer to be out and spending time with their friends by then. So. I understand that they want to take some other classes as well, but maybe if we could just make sure that most of them want to, so that more students don't end up dropping the camp rather than joining, due to the schedule change. Because I want as many students as possible to be able to participate.
She fucking blanked the shit out of me. And then I had to just let it go. Well. I didn't have to let it go. But I did let it go. And then I spent the weekend just getting over it. Just in case.
And then I came in today. And HT tells me that she has reconsidered. That she thinks that the students will be too hot in an afternoon camp. And all the other stuff that I said to her, almost word for word, on Friday.
Because, the point is, my camps are back on for the morning. And once again, somehow, I've managed to get exactly what I want by not so much as raising an eyebrow, let alone my voice or my contract or whatever else. Which makes me feel pretty fucking accomplished, actually. And lucky. Some combination thereof, I'm sure.
- I'm no Picasso
- This is a tale of the seaports where chance brings the traveler: he clambers a hillside and such things come to pass.
Map
7 comments:
i think mentioning students dropping out is always a good factor in these things! She sounds like the kind of HT that wants full attendance and high performance from everyone, so any hint that it might not go perfectly would make her rethink!
It almost seems like she is completely reasonable if you pretend that you never reasoned with her.
You handled that like a true master! I bow before your superior HT wrangling skills, because I think any ordinary mortal would have disemboweled her by now.
ooooh, good for you!!
i'm glad you managed to hold it in... and i did enjoy the metaphore or wanting to beat her with a baseball bat... i'm glad i'm not the only one who entertains that kind of thoughts when people piss me off. eheh.
well, congrats! It once again proves that keeping it quiet and not letting your emotions show in an 'ugly' outburst can be the best way to handle things (I guess that especially applies in one's work life...). But forget God, that sounds more like the path of Zen to me.
I'm so relieved to have discovered your blog. I'm going through an experience where I basically think everything is "shit" at the moment, which includes my friends (both foreign and Korean) and job. I'm one of those people who prays to God (and I'm not religious at all) when something is needed--a shot of mental enlightenment. Then you went on talking about not cussing out your HT--OMG you're sense of control is amazing! That's what I'm currently trying to tell myself here in Korea, positive-mind control! Chances are nil with my CT.
--By the way, followed AAK's link here. Thanks for sharing your much needed experience.
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