4.13.2011

On cupcakes and cunty conversations.

I kind of give up. I've been bringing in baked goods (bread and cupcakes and whatnot) that I've been making at home to work. I always give some to Head Teacher, of course. Because I'm not an ugly person. It's an attempt to keep my karma balanced. Or to make up for all the ugly things I think about her and just barely manage not to say out loud. Or something.

Anyway. Today it was tiramisu cupcakes. She asked me how I made them. I listed a few of the ingredients. She interrupted to say that it was very difficult. I told her she only thought it was difficult because she had never seen it done -- that it's quite simple.

She told me that making rice for Koreans is easy because they all have a rice maker in their houses, so making bread for foreigners is very easy, because they all have bread makers in their houses.

Uh. No. Actually, they don't. And bread, as in morning bread, is actually quite difficult to get exactly right. And bread machines don't make cupcakes. And cupcakes are not bread. And making rice is nothing like making cupcakes. Or bread.

I settled on just telling her that all foreigners don't have bread machines and leaving it at that. But that making cupcakes is really quite simple -- you just put all the ingredients in the bowl, stir, pour it into cups, put them in the oven, wait. The end.

She didn't allow that to deter her from her pre-determined line of thought (or speech), of course. She trooped on: Making cupcakes is easy for you because you are a foreigner.

Well. No. I just know that making cupcakes is easy because I'm a foreigner. It's just as easy for you as it is for me -- you just follow directions. Put this amount of these things in a bowl and stir -- I repeated.

No. For Koreans making bread is very difficult. One of her students paid $500 a month to a private tutor to learn how to make cinnamon bread. It's not easy for Koreans.

Really? Because I think it's the same as any cooking -- you just mix the ingredients in the right amount. It's not --

"You are a foreigner! You have an ingrained natural sense of how to make bread!"

You know what? That is your last cupcake ever. Ever.

9 comments:

Allana said...

You know what would be delicious revenge? Somehow teaching your students (even better, specifically first years) how to make cupcakes. And then see what she has to say.

HL said...

I second Allana. Please do.

Mr. Spock said...

Please make Allana's idea happen.

Also, sometimes HT is so much the cartoon villain co-teacher, so many of the things weoneomin teachers dread, that I sometimes wonder if she is an elaborate hoax of a human being.

MikejGrey said...

If you leave your window open while it rains you will get wet.

JLR said...

Hey, where is my innate sense of how to make bread, or cupcakes, which are apparently the same thing? Cause I totally don't have that. Nor do most of the people I know.

Maybe I should send you some bread or cake product that I've made. If you she ate it, she'd be forced to change her mind.

Oh, that's an idea--make her some really awful cupcakes.

Burndog said...

She sounds a lot like my YouYou Teacher...I'm sure they'd get along like a house on fire with their condescending observations and semi-retarded ramblings!

Still...it's these exceptions that make the rule isn't it? I have three teachers...two are brilliant and one is one of the greater fucktards to wander the globe.

Oh...and Allana might be onto something!

I'm no Picasso said...

Haha we bake every camp! Usually cookies. The students are dead amazed at how easy it actually is.

We haven't done cupcakes yet, because I just found the silicone cups I need to fit in my tiny oven, but now that I have them, that is definitely up next. I'll be sure to bring her some, and point out that I taught twenty KOREAN fourteen year olds how to successfully bake cupcakes in under an hour. In a language they don't speak. For free.

It has me thinking though -- maybe I'm in the wrong fucking field in Korean education if kids are paying $500 a month to be taught how to make fucking cinammon bread. Combine that with simultaneous English lessons, and I think I've cracked on how to make my fortune.

sammetskatt said...

I actually think it has something to do with the lack of an oven in the normal korean home.

It just doesnt add up in their culture.. kinda like I would never ever think it'd be easy to cook a meatskewer in a clay tandoor oven.. no matter how easy the person standing next to it says it is. =P

I'm no Picasso said...

Sammetskatt - So, then would you feel the need to tell that person that they were ingrained with a natural sense of how to do that based on their race?

When my students don't believe they can bake cookies because they've never done it before, that's one thing. When a grown woman constantly argues with me about my own existence and places me into categories based on a difference in our race, that's another issue entirely.