If I only had a gun.
Please. Please, for the love of all that is holy, please stop advertising teaching in South Korea as one long, extended vacational delay of real life. I don't want these fucking bro-dudes here. I really... just...
Sometimes I wonder if someday, I'll just crack under the pressure and start "swilling soju" and "partying by night", while exclaiming to anyone who'll listen how 'yeah like I'm not really like sure like what I'll do when I like go back home man dude bro. I guess I'll like have to get like a real job man dude bro.' I read an article like this, and then I have to look my superiors in the face and try to make an unflinching argument about how I should be taken seriously. Even I'm struck by the urge to burst into giggles, from time to time.
Mass extermination, kids. It's the only answer. Trust me on this one. Bro.
(PS -- I spotted two [two!] other foreigners in my neighborhood this weekend. Not like, in-my-neighborhood as in twenty minutes up the road at the Homeplus, but in-my-neighborhood as in buying oranges from my fucking orange lady. If either one of them is you, well you definitely didn't look like bro-dudes. Welcome to the 'hood and feel free to grab my grumpy ass out on the street if you have any questions or need help with anything. Two!!)
(PPS -- I know "vacational" is not a word.)
(PPPS -- Roboseyo's got an awesome Open Letter to First Year English Teachers post that I feel like throwing in here, because he explains what I'm trying to say much more diplomatically and with far less sarcasm. It's good stuff. Check it out.)