These people with their damn phones. I can't get any rest or fucking peace and quiet. These fools phoning me up in the middle of all goddamn hours with their nonsense. First Smalltown starts in with thousands of misspelled texts about some dumbass thing his girlfriend did, and before I can even finish pecking out an answer, he calls me to have this stupid conversation with her sitting right there, using elaborate English words so she can't understand. When I tell him it was a dumbass thing to do, and I'd tell her to kiss my ass, he informs me that he's "not like me". Well, no shit, Sherlock. What was your first clue? And if you know that already, why the hell are you calling me at one o'clock in the morning to ask my opinion?

"No, no. You're right."

Of course I am. Not that you're going to listen to me or do anything about it.


Remember the Korean Body Builder? Neither do I, really. The history there is, meeting at the beach, hanging out a few times, running into each other the street while we both had company of the opposite sex variety with us, snickering snidely at each other about the situation while said company gawked at each other in confusion, and then one last night out where he got all territorial because I was chatting up The Boxer, and putting his arm around me even though he had a girlfriend. Which pissed me off enough to write him off as a complete asshole.

Now, six months later, 2 am....

KBB: "hi? haha^^"
L: "what in the hell...."
KBB:"hahaha howz going so far??ha"
L: "haha going fine. nothing interesting to report. how's things with you? what the hell do you want?"
KBB:"do well.where u at??"
L: "i'm at home asshole. it's 2 am. i'm a good girl these days."
KBB: "hahaha i just wanted u to ask a favor. im looking for my english.cuz im sitting test soon.so wondering if u okay will u be..... hahaha"
L: "fucking shameless. i don't have a lot of free time these days. what do you have in mind? maybe if you help me with korean...."
KBB: "haha yerp. we can teach each other. haha. u can meet up sometime for drinking coffee"

Lovely. I have always had a strange affection for this guy, because I know he's an asshole, and that basically gives me free reign to behave however I want with him. And he just accepts it, no holds barred. So whatever. I've got a stack of Korean questions piling up anyhow, and I think everyone around me is getting a little annoyed with them.

Well just call me Mother Fucking Teresa why don't you? The weirdest people show up again and again, out of nowhere here in the ROK. It's a social pattern I'm not at all adjusted to, and I can't seem to get control of my mouth when it comes to these situations. You're calling me now? Really? What the fuck do you want? No. No offense, or anything. But seriously -- what the fuck do you want? The thing I respect about KBB is, when I ask that question, I get a sincere answer. And that's all I'm ever really looking for.

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