I'm a new English teacher, and now I'm getting comments that my breasts are making my male coworkers uncomfortable. How do I handle this, when I'm a US size 10 womens and have a D cup?

This one is going to jump the line right quick, because I feel like it's a really important thing for new female teachers to hear right up front.

I'm also a D cup, although I've been self-conscious about the damn things since they started coming in and have always kind of gone out of my way to find garments that disguise them as well as I can manage. I can honestly say that I have never had any coworker make any comment along those lines. So one of two things is going on here: either you're being picked on because your body, which you have no control over whatsoever, is being sexualized by your male coworkers, which is unacceptable and entirely their problem, or some of that plus you haven't adjusted to Korea's ideas of modesty, which are shockingly different from the West's when it comes to the top half of the female body.

Base line standard in Korea: If you are showing even the tiniest centimeter of a crack of cleavage, you are not dressed appropriately for work. Shoulders are also largely taboo, although we have noticed this changing a bit this past summer. Even too much exposed skin on the chest above the cleavage mark can be considered risque.

It's a pain in the ass for girls with larger chests, because it's really difficult to find garments that won't show any cleavage, no matter what position you are in. I've also had to take to having an army of undershirts on hand, in order to be sure that not even the shadow of a bra can be seen, because I work at an all boys' middle school, and if you stand just right framed in the window on a sunny morning.... well. I also now squat beside student desks when helping them with an assignment, rather than bending over.

I'm not going to sit here and argue the merits of these standards, because... well just because I'm not. But I'll let you know that that's what they are. There are even certain t shirts I've had to give up on, because of the super inappropriate reactions of men when I wear them out and about in the neighborhood. Is it weird that it seems there are no limits on the length (or lack there of) of skirts that are considered appropriate in the workplace? Yes. But it's just one of those things.

On the other hand, if you are taking measures to make sure that nothing about your clothing can be considered inappropriate by Korean standards, then, were it me, I would consider having a very honest conversation with a female coworker (I assume it was a woman who approached you about this subject) about how you are a Western woman, and your body is just different, and there is nothing that you can do about that, and how it makes you feel uncomfortable to feel that your male coworkers are viewing your body in that way and commenting on it. Their comfort does not come before yours, especially when it's not you who is making an issue of it. What does she expect you to do? Have a dangerous and traumatic surgery because your male coworkers can't control their own reactions to your body? Unacceptable. Don't allow them to put something off on you which is not your responsibility. No woman deserves to be made to feel ashamed of her body, no matter what it looks like, because of other people's poor abilities to monitor their own perceptions. Good luck.

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