10.29.2010

More scary stories from the second graders.

Oh I'm a sickly little bunny. The first graders are being super protective about the fact that my voice has just about given out and shouting each other down to fuck for talking during classtime and making me speak louder. They're cute when they're on your side. Helps that I have candy this week, I'm sure.

Anyway. I don't have any spare energy for anything else at the moment, and plan to spend the weekend pretending it's not Halloween and that I also have no friends. IE, waking up at the crack of dawn to hit the department stores early to find a new coat and a few other things to round out the winter wadrobe, considering it is, apparently, already winter.

Have some more mental second grader scary stories:

1.

Bong woon called me I will die. Even though we are phone he can hit. Because he has really big stick.

2.

Zombie virus is very dangerous so Earth is very dangers so Smith is legend. He is hero. He safe live all people. [cue a vocabularly lesson the word "plagiarism"]

3.

Zombie virus in Korea. ANd that house is zombie house. And the half of population of Earth became zombie. But a one human is alive. His name is 승훈. 승훈 hada special power and he cared Korea but he infected by a zombie and he destoy many buidings and killed many people. he conquer the earth and attacked solar system. he became king of space

4.

There is mummy in Egypt. A mummy has killing 정우. So 정우 was becoming mummy. 정우 comes to the Korea wear costume of Human and 정우 kill and make mummys. 정우 and mummys killing all of korea and they go other country But. 정우 and they weak for sunshine on is war for they they all die so the earth is save for mummies.

5.

When he visted the house, the house opend itself. He felt scary but he go straight. When he went to aisle, he heard someone smile. When he went to the bathroom, he turned on the faucet, the blood fell down. And suddenly the door closed. He felt so scary so he went out the house. And he didn't buy the house.

6.

In 1996, human named 영호 was born. His face like a horse.

7.

There a witch who kill humans. She lives in city. Uptown. One time she is angry because she killed 윤민 and ate his body. She was happy so she killed 영호, 현규 and ate their body but hero 중현 visit her house. but she ate 중현. She was very happy.

8.

There was one time zombie named 정호. He lived Canada. One time he's angry because he see a mirror.

9.

Long, long time ago, there was a boy named Hitler. One day, Hitler went a haunted house. But Hitler didn't feel scary, so he refunded. However, he could not refund it because the clerk was dead. He was bleeding. Hitler was afraid. And Hilter laughed and said, "All die!"

10.

Once there was a bad zombie in Texas. At night, Zombie will alive and kill the people. And then there people will alive and become Zombies. After 2 months. All people in Texas was a zombie and goverment shoot nuclear in Texas so all of zombie was die. And where zombies went to my house And there was a many zombies in my house. There were eat together and my house is became blood house. It's very scared!

11.

Once is a monster named 준혁. He had nice haircut. But he's very angry. Because he hate to study English. So one day, Minchan met with 준혁, it was very disgusting meeting for 준혁. Because Minchan started to laugh him.

12.

Someday, a person went to home. He saw shadow behind him. Next day He died. But then he came back as zombie. And then he died. But then he came back as mummy. And than he eat his wife. Next day they died. [I asked for clarification on this one -- he ate his wife and the next day they died? Apparently the wife stays alive inside the mummy husband's stomach until he dies, the next day.]

And for the big finish, lucky number thirteen. The star of the show:

13.

I have played "rock, scissor, paper" with myself in the mirror. but I won.

Edit: I just realized the Bongwoon in the first story is probably the PE teacher who is in charge of student discipline. It's taken on a whole new level of funny. His stick is pretty big, to be fair.

6 comments:

チュウリップ said...

Stifling my laughs in the office. Thanks for always sharing these!

Kel said...

hahahahah number 6 is hilarious! LOLOOOOLLL

saharial said...

number 13 is brilliant!

I'm no Picasso said...

Number 6 is definitely my favorite. And number 13 even took me a minute. I was like.... what..... oh! They amaze me when they do things like that in English.

Afghanistan Banana Stand said...

>>
Long, long time ago, there was a boy named Hitler. One day, Hitler went a haunted house. But Hitler didn't feel scary, so he refunded. However, he could not refund it because the clerk was dead. He was bleeding. Hitler was afraid. And Hilter laughed and said, "All die!"


I don't think I could have written a better story. What a brilliant young artiste.

Afghanistan Banana Stand said...

"Someday, a person went to home. He saw shadow behind him. Next day He died. But then he came back as zombie. And then he died. But then he came back as mummy. And than he eat his wife. Next day they died."

But then they came back as vampire. Next day they died.