In love with myself.

Why are so many people asking questions that start with "Do you accept that..." ? Is this a trial?

Do you accept that it is weird to start out an anonymous question on your blog with the phrase "Do you accept that"?

Haha.

Other things.

1. I'm in the process of finding a way to dismantle the horrendous screeching speaker in our office. I have kindly asked for it to be TURNED THE FUCK DOWN at least six times, because I'm tired of toppling out of my rolling chair every time the goddamn bell rings, but this has resulted in nothing. I'm bringing my screwdriver to work tomorrow. Tough shit.

2. Give me a CD that works to teach the C boys. Now, please. I love love love the sweet little darlings, but they require a certain level of visual representation that simply cannot be achieved by me "acting out" which section of the book they should be looking at, at any given moment. Seriously.

3. My co-teacher for C has never taught in a public school before and is completely bricking it, clinging to my figurative skirt tails. Apparently, she asked my co-teacher yesterday where the coffee vending machine is. Ha. Haha. It's going to be a bit of a long year, I suspect. So far, I've got them firmly in hand, but the balance of power (as I well know) can tip at any moment. Must tread carefully. Once the tide turns, it's infinitely less within your discretion at what point (and in what direction) it will turn back.

There are a lot of other small things I'm thinking about, but I'll let it all percolate a bit. Mostly I'm genuinely worried about how completely dissentient I've become to absolutely any social activity, outside of teaching. I'm really not kidding. I don't think this blog comes across as the crazed rantings of a genuine recluse, but it may begin to soon. Except I don't feel crazy or ranty, just completely content to spend the evenings in under lamplight covering my sweatpants with smudges of ink, drinking coffee and cooking elaborate meals for one. I think I'm in love with myself. Really. I don't really apologize for that, either.

On a related subject, I may open this blog up to applications to be Liz's Fake Boyfriend soon. Responsibilities include:

1. Showing up to the occasional work dinner looking presentable and respectable to fight off co-workers who want to introduce me to a friend, a friend of a friend, a friend's son or a boyfriend's friend.

2. Posing for a handuhpone couple picture.

and

3. Not calling me every day to ask, "What are you doing? .... What are you doing now?" (Note: engaging in said behavior during known work hours will result in immediate and irreversible termination.)

Anyone? Ha.