5.25.2009

Teacher hot.

Teacher hot. Teacher .... hot. Teacher hot. That's very hot. Teacher HOT!

Do you know what is the only thing more blood boiling than having to teach in this heat? Having you half-people interrupt my lecture over and over again to tell me that it's hot. What, exactly, would you like me to do about it?

Teacher is having a beer. Actually, teacher is having three. They are in the freezer as we speak. They are not hot.

Today I told a student that Marlboro lights are for girls, and real men smoke reds. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell for that. But it was only after they confronted me for the eighteenth time with, "TEACHER YOU HOMEPLUSUH SMOKING WE SEE!"

"Yes, yes, it's true. You know what? Teacher is a grownup. You are children. Teacher can smoke. Teacher can drink soju. Teacher is an adult. Ee-sheep-oh. Understand?"

"TEACHER DRINK SOJU!?!?!"

Ya. Be quiet and do your worksheet. Teacher wouldn't have to drink soju if you would stop spying on Teacher during the very little time Teacher has away from you. Teacher has to drink soju because you have taken over Teacher's life. Teacher has many stress. Teacher needs to take a rest. Teacher is going to put on an old pair of boxers and have ddeok and Cafri for dinner and then probably watch a terrible Korean drama and pass out at 8:30. Okay? Okay. Shee you tomorrow.

By the way, if anyone can explain how to make this sound 희 to me, I would be extremely grateful.


P.S. -- The student who fell from the fourth floor did not jump, and was not pushed. He was attempting to retrieve a paper, which had flown out the window and landed on a ledge. His balance wasn't as good as he had suspected. There is no permanent damage, and he is going to be just fine.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd be terrified to bump into my kids outside of school. They're very rich and I'm not; they go everywhere in SUVs and eat at Western restaurants, I take the bus to go eat at Korean restaurants.

The sound is usually pronounced "hee", though technically it's supposed to be "heu-ee" ('heu' as in 'her', 'ee' as in 'ee').

I'm no Picasso said...

I know how it's pronounced... I just don't know how to make it. I can hear it in my head. Hee is the easy way to say it, but it's just not right... it's another tough one. It's part of a favorite student's name, and I just can't get it right....

My students live in the same apartuh as me. We're same-same.

Igniz said...

thank god the kid's alright. and it seems you're doing alright, too.

Kel said...

ha, this made me laugh...my students are now accustomed to seeing me outside, roaming around the neighborhood in really short cut-offs, usually carrying a jug of wine. teacher is so classy. but they still tell me i'm beautiful, so...

I'm no Picasso said...

Igniz... doing just fine. Don't stay down for too long.

Kel... most of my nonsense takes place in Bupyeong. They really only see me grocery shopping or in restaurants. Thank God for the good ol' BP, where most of them aren't allowed to go....

Tuttle said...

Put your lips in position to say "ee". Your lips will be stretched horizontally and you'll be smiling (that's why photographers tell you to say "cheese").
Keep your lips in the "ee" position.
With the rest of your mouth, say "oo".
Out comes this weird sound, but it's the one you want.

--from http://langintro.com/kintro/eui.htm

I'm no Picasso said...

That's pretty good, thanks. Still not right but getting closer. Sigh.

willie said...

HAHAHA! im gonna start calling the Ks half-people from now on. im bored of referring to them as "these people..."