Fuck it.

Screw this.

I think I might go to Paris for my vacation. All by myself, since Mike will be in New York. And you know what? I don't know if I'll take a trip home at the end of this contract or not. There's a lot of world to see, and this proper job nonsense makes the time I have to see it extremely fucking precious.

I've lived thousands of miles away from my home and many of the people I've loved for half a decade now. I didn't think another few thousand would make that big of a difference. I knew going home once a year instead of twice or three times would, but we haven't even reached that point yet.

Anyway. I can't say for sure -- it's only been two months. But I'm getting the distinct impression that being abroad in a totally foreign place changes things. In the minds of others, I mean. Maybe it's that wicked third month creeping up on me, but I'm getting tired of pretending not to notice that the people who gave me so much trouble about how I was going to forget about them once I got to South Korea have, in turn, seemed to decide that it's just not worth the effort. I don't know if everyone who goes abroad experiences this or not, but I think it's time to stop waiting around for it to change. I do know that Mike is going through the exact same thing, and knows exactly what I mean when I mention it. And God bless Mike for being here and understanding. Don't know what I would do without him.

Maybe Mr. Kwan is right to hound me about getting to know at least a few other expats. Even just being on the forums at times can offer a little relief in knowing that the one million little things that happen everyday are not unique to us, although they may not ever be understood by anyone we left back home.

Anyway, happy two month mark, Mike.


Kel said...

I got seriously depressed after about 4 months in China, because I couldn't go home for Christmas for the first time in my life...but I made it through (and also made everyone think I was an alcoholic), and then suddenly next 6 months were some of the best of my life ... and since I came back to the states, I've only gone home once a year. It does change everything. You should totally go to Paris!

PS I just had my visa interview today and it was the easiest 3 minutes of my life. I can pick up my passport tomorrow!

MikejGrey said...


two months.

You can go wherever you want Liz. At least we have some version of freedom.

Christ. English camp. I'm so ronery.

We need to find other ex-pats pronto. Some people who aren't dickheads.

I'm no Picasso said...

Yeah I hear that for almost everyone the third/fourth month is a bitch. I've been preparing for it and trying to keep in mind that it's like that for everyone, it's just the infamous culture shock, and it will pass.

Good to hear the interview was a cinch. I didn't have to give one -- I have no idea why. But you're all set way ahead of time which will make for much less stress. Congrats!

How was China, by the way? Maybe I'll head there after a while....

I'm no Picasso said...

I can go wherever I want. For once. I feel really guilty about the idea of spending that much money, since the won is doing so lousy. But if I think of it in terms of dollars (which would be the same as anything my savings would be going toward), it's really not bad at all.

Two months. I can't believe we've made it this far already. One sixth of the way done. Oh wow! How amazing! Etc etc English textbook phraseology.

Other expats who aren't dickheads. Tall order. But I have the email address of a girl who also works for Incheon MOE who seems pretty cool. Maybe I'll email her this weekend.

Also, my mothers decided they want to take me to see a movie. One stayed after to give me her phone number and email address so I can ask her anything if I need to. We were talking about genres and they asked if I had seen any movies here yet, and I explained that every new thing we do is a little nervous because we don't speak much Korean. They all got really sympathetic and protective and want to help me with everything now. I love them.

cherry garcia said...

everyone forgets you when you leave :(

except moms and stuff...haha. i'm lazy with postcards...but i'm doing that and gonna get your christmas pressie out to you soon, i think i need one more addition...and a box or something to mail it off to.

if you go to paris just eat sandwiches and pastries...everything else was overrated...in my weekend experience...haha...ha.

can i come?


Kel said...

China is amazing, I may go back in 2010 bc I miss it so much. Shanghai=amazing!! Go if you have the chance.

If y'all wanna meet up for drinks in Seoul in March, I'm game! I'm def not a dickhead...on the contrary, I'm the coolest person I know.

I'm no Picasso said...

Steph --

Last night I had a dream I went somewhere besides Paris and was really glad I chose there but now I can't remember where it was and it's pissing me off. I'm kind of afraid Paris would be a little boring. Maybe Spain would be better? Jesus. I need to make up my mind this weekend....

I've got a few things for you already and will probably get more today (I'm not looking for anything specific because that's just a recipe for frustration here) but I don't have a fucking clue how to send a package yet. Yet another venture to be made there, then.

Kel --

I will definitely at least visit China at some point. Also, because the won is toilet paper at the moment, one of my Korean friends was suggesting working in Japan for a while, but I think by the time I'm ready to go elsewhere, the won should be better. I hope anyway.

And we should definitely have a drink when you get here. Maybe you'll have better luck making yourself "Yogiyo!" than we do. We're too shy....

Tuttle said...

Odd. We started this journey within the same timeline, you are looking for expats who aren't dickheads, I follow and comment regularly on your blog, have suggested we get together, and have a totally open blog myself.

So, do you want to meet cool people or not?

cherry garcia said...

what are your reasons for paris being boring? haha...i've only ever heard you talking about going to paris...unless it was berlin...

how long is your vacation anyway? is this the two week one?